What if focusing on your body or breath don't work for you? Are there other options for what to focus on during Mindfulness Meditation?

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In this episode, I discuss:

• 00:38 - Welcome
• 01:49 - Grounding and Check-In
• 06:49 - Body & Breath - NOT for Everyone!
• 10:59 - Alternative Focal Points

Resources:

• Episode 14 - Wild Wellbeing: Hug a Tree... With Your Eyeballs!
• Humee Hum, Tumee Tum by Mirabai Ceiba

Episode Show Notes:

"...I am recording this in October. It is still ADHD Awareness Month, and I want to talk a little bit more about thinking outside the box, pushing the boundaries of what we think of as mindfulness and meditation. And whether or not you identify as someone who is neurodivergent, or you have someone in your life, or not, I really feel like today has a lot of interesting ideas for all of us to start to create practices that really work well for us. Because whether or not we're neurodivergent, some of the things that we hear super commonly repeated in mindfulness and meditation might not be ideal for us, and might not be ideal for us in all moments, and maybe better in others.

But first, let's check in, let's settle in, let's find that baseline. I'll move through this in a similar way to how I usually do it. We'll do a little grounding, a check-in with the body, a little check-in with the breath. And I'd like to add the invitation to you today. When I make these suggestions, also take a moment to notice how you are feeling in response to what I say or invite. Your reactions, your responses.

Go ahead and start to settle in to whatever is a comfortable shape for you, settling in to a seat, settling in to whatever you're resting or lying on, settling in to an easy, slow pace if you're moving. Then begin to notice the points of connection between your body and whatever you are resting or walking on. Notice the pressure, texture, temperature of your feet and your shoes on the earth, or your rear in your seat, or your back on what you are resting or lying on. Bringing a very conscious awareness to the sense of your physical body, that connection and that pressure.

And as you bring your awareness to this sense of your physical self, your physical presence, what do you notice? What's your response? How does that invitation make you feel?

Then allow that awareness to begin to travel out to the rest of your physical body. Notice how you're feeling in your physical body. How do you feel? How do you feel physically in this moment?

And as you hear that question, that invitation, and you bring your awareness to the physical sensations of your body, your tissues, your joints, your bones, how does that make you feel? What's your response? What's your reaction?

Next, I'll have you bring a gentle awareness to the sense of your natural breath. Get really curious about the qualities of your inhale and the qualities of your exhale. And as you stay attuned to observing each in, each out, the depth, rhythm, movement of your natural breath, how does that feel? What's your response? What's your reaction?

Begin to lengthen and deepen into that breath. Draw in a fuller inhale, let out a slower exhale. Take a few more really full breaths. And as you continue to keep your awareness here, notice how that feels. What is your response, your reaction to being very aware of your breath?

Settle back into a natural breath. Allow your awareness to expand outward. Visually scan your surroundings, reorient yourself to your environment.

Focusing on the breath, focusing on the body, a sensation of grounding the body or a body scan, are incredibly common tools in the mindfulness meditation world. And they work really, really well for some people. Of course, they do not work really, really well for all people.

So have you ever experienced or have you encountered somewhere, heard someone talk about or maybe read a description of someone who, when they focus on their breath, it actually becomes more difficult to breathe with ease.

As they focus on that sensation, perhaps the breath becomes a little faster or a little shallower.

And there's this interesting relationship between our nervous system and our breath.

And as that breath starts to become heightened, and then our body moves into more of a stress response, and then that in turn impacts our breath.

So that would make it very difficult to remain in a really relaxed, calm state if one was focusing on the breath, right?

Additionally, for some people, the breath itself is just a little too nebulous, vague, gray.

There's not quite enough of an anchor there to really easily and effectively engage that present mind awareness, and may be more likely to become distracted, frustrated.

And so, if you are someone who the breath does not particularly work for, maybe the suggestion has been made to you to focus on the body instead.

For some people, focusing on the body, grounding sensation, body scan, easy, effective, great way to approach mindfulness meditation.

Not for everybody.

Similarly, to the breath, sometimes focusing on the body and that really intense paying attention to whatever is happening in the moment right now may actually make us hyper aware of physical sensations, including things like discomfort or pain.

And then for those of us who have some sort of a history with trauma, there's some potential complexity and difficulty there as well.

So if focusing on the body does not work particularly well for you, maybe you practice focusing on the breath.

But what if you are a person, or you are having a day, or you are having a moment where neither focusing on the body or the breath feels particularly useful or helpful?

Then what do we do?

There are many other creative options out there, really a variety of things that we can play around with.

So I'd like to walk you through some of those today.

And then instead of ending with another practice, I'm going to invite you to take one or two or heck a few, scatter them throughout your week of these practices and actually give them a try on your own.

And as always, pay attention, do some reflection, take some notes about what was interesting, what you might like to revisit the same way that you did, or revisit, change it up a little bit, what was absolutely terrible and didn't work for you and you never want to do it again.

Always remembering that for most of us, these practices are going to shift over time.

So what's working great one year may not work great the next year, month, moment.

And so, as always, just going into it with that curiosity and exploration and some gentleness and flexibility as well in finding what works for you, creating structure as you move forward, and remembering that it's going to be an evolving process always.

So if we want to think about exploring outside of body and breath, which are these very specific, paying attention to what is happening in my body in the moment, it's going to be helpful to take that out of the direct experience of my body, breath in the moment, but could still be something that is internal, such as a visualization, for example, or expanding that completely outside the body, focusing on something that is completely external.

So one way, favorite way of mine that we can do this is through sound.

You can find a word, phrase, a little bit of a song, a mantra, if that is your thing.

Actually, maybe I will include in the show notes a favorite mantra of mine that you could repeat.

And you can do this seated, you could do this lying down.

If you don't mind being somewhere out, walking in the world where you are singing or chanting, you could certainly do that as well.

The idea is to create an ease of repetition for the brain.

So we come back to the same word or phrase or mantra over and over and over.

And it's giving our brain something to stay in tune with, stay anchored with.

Even as you are speaking sound, you will still find that your brain has the amazing ability to be planning some other thing or having some other conversation.

And then you just bring yourself back to consciously making the sound.

And then we can of course take sound fully outside the body.

So a favorite one for me here would be taking this outdoors and either finding a slow, comfy walk space, or you can find a sit spot outdoors.

Take a seat and allow yourself to stay present to the sounds around you.

So depending on where you are, that could be rustling leaves, chirping birds, running water, and inviting that sense of hearing back to conscious observing of the sound again and again.

Again, knowing that your brain is going to be all over the place, doing all the crazy things, and that's fine.

Notice, come back to the leaves, come back to the bird, come back to the water.

We can also find a focus on something visually.

We can do this internally, visualization.

So imagining a peaceful, serene space that you love, a forest, a beach.

Some folks actually can't visualize, their brain is not capable of visualization.

And some people like myself just have a really hard time with it.

Holding one image in my brain is not usually enough to keep me in the present moment.

But this does work really well for a lot of people.

So that's an idea to play with.

Or we can bring that visual focus outside.

So if you're outside, maybe you're taking in a tree.

I will also drop in the show notes, the link to an episode I did a little while ago that takes you through a whole tree gazing meditation.

Another favorite, a really easy one for me is a candle flame meditation.

So light a candle, turn most of your lights down or off, find a comfy seat, and just allow yourself to stay visually focused on the candle.

Notice when your eyes wander.

Notice when your brain wanders.

Bring it back.

A physical focus, but outside the body, may also be an option for some of us who a body scan is a little too much, but the sensation of touch, physical connection is still helpful.

So a favorite one for me here is using a japa mala or mala, or you'll sometimes hear these called prayer beads.

So this is a very long string of beads.

It's usually 108, but depends on the tradition.

And you hold it in your hand and you just slide and touch one bead, slide and touch the next bead, slide and touch the next bead, slide and touch the next bead.

And it is that very rhythmic move and touch, move and touch that for some of us can do a really lovely job of keeping the mind anchored in the present moment.

You can also combine this with a word or mantra.

So each time you slide and touch a new bead, you say that same word or phrase again and again and again.

Also in the physical realm, movement can be our focus.

I did a few episodes in movement last month, so you can find those pretty recently in the queue.

If it is helpful for you to bring a little bit of movement into your practice, if you have a particularly hard time sitting still, or if taking a walk is a little too nebulous again, then try a gentle yoga practice or a Tai Chi practice or a Qi Gong practice, and allow the mind staying present, staying focused to the sense of you moving.

To be your mindfulness anchor.

There are a few ideas for you to play with and explore.

If you have other ideas, if I missed anything, please, please, please reach out.

My invitation for you this week is to take any of these practices or all of these practices and try them out, try them out without expectation or judgment.

Maybe do a little thinking beforehand how you think it might go, what you think your reactions might be.

Do a little reflecting after.

Again, what worked, what didn't, what else might you like to mix up, try, change.

As always, please feel free to reach out.

Let me know how it's going.

Let me know if you have any questions.

And then next week, I'd like to dive back into a little bit more of some of the movement-based practices and recap some previous episodes and give you some new ideas.

And then we'll round out the month talking a little bit more about visualization and fully guided meditation...."