How would it feel to love and accept yourself fully? For Pride month let's explore: Why is self-love important? What is the relationship between mindfulness and self-love? What practices can we use to boost our self-acceptance and thus our overall health?

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In this episode, I discuss:

• 01:05 - Self-love and marginalized communities.
• 02:05 - The relationship between mindfulness and self-love.
• 03:15 - Benefits of cultivating a mindful self-love practice.
• 08:45 - Meditation for self-love.

Episode transcript:

"...today's musings are about self-love. Self-love, self-acceptance.

In honor of Pride Month, I wanted to do a little exploration of the relationship between self-love and mindfulness and meditation, and then offer a self-love meditation. Of course, Pride Month should be every month. But in June, we see some extra time and attention paid to highlighting awareness of this particular community, the queer community, LGBTQIA2S+.

And so many of us struggle with self-love, self-acceptance, acceptance of our bodies. But particularly in this community and other marginalized communities, we see even higher incidence of self-hatred, self-doubt, self-harm.

If we don't fit in the mold of what society tells us is normal in the realm of our body, of sexuality, of gender, then we are much more likely to suffer from some of these really, really being down on ourselves kinds of feelings and emotions.

So for me, the relationship between mindfulness, meditation, and self-love is really related to the fact that when we cultivate intentional practices around present awareness, paying attention, letting go of judgment, it can really help to build our capacity for self-love and self-acceptance.

If we think about practices like somatic mindfulness, somatic movement, there is so much attention, intention paid to our experience, to our thoughts, to our body.

And these sort of practices really support our overall mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

So when we cultivate practices that help us learn to be with ourselves as we are, to love and excel ourselves as we are, we're developing this sense of value for ourselves.

And when we value ourselves, we're more likely to nurture ourselves.

So in a very basic physical health sense, using mindfulness, using meditation to start to cultivate more self-esteem, more acceptance of yourself, your brain, your body, just very simply, is going to help you do things that are good for you, whatever that is for you.

Maybe it's choosing foods that make you feel better.

Maybe it's choosing practices, support, self-help that makes you feel better.

Maybe it's choosing movement that makes you feel better.

And then it's parallel also reducing our likelihood of doing some of the things that may be harmful for us.

Maybe that's specific self-harm, substance abuse, poor behaviors around food and eating choices, et cetera.

And related to that, when we are feeling good about ourselves, we are also more likely to choose things, to choose behavior, to choose support that support our mental and emotional health.

Whether that's something that we do on our own, like a journaling practice, or reaching out for help, like a support group or therapy.

And then this practice also just in general helps to build emotional resilience, which gives us a better ability to cope with stress and stressors in the world.

It also boosts self-esteem and builds confidence, which can affect how we show up in the world and our ability to advocate for ourselves and have our needs met.

And also because mindfulness and meditation really cultivate this sense of self-awareness, self-regulation, emotional regulation, it also really affects our ability to have healthy, meaningful relationships with others that are based on mutual respect.

And then also the ability to set and to maintain our boundaries, which is hugely important for our overall mental and emotional health.

And then I also think there's this added layer of even a little bit of benefit to our spiritual health.

So this kind of depends on how you define spiritual health, but if we're thinking of it in our purpose and our fulfillment, and developing this self love is motivating you on this path of taking care of yourself and personal growth, which is then going to lead you to seek out things that are fulfilling, to find purpose, to be your true self, to share that purpose with others, to show up as an authentic person in the world, then I absolutely think that that is a form of spiritual well-being.

So we see this potential for this incredible benefit of mindfulness of meditation and also specifically meditations related to self love, of bolstering our physical health, our mental emotional health, and our spiritual health.

So how can we bring these practices into our life in a meaningful way to begin to reap some of these benefits?

So again, in general, I think any practice that's really bringing a non-judgmental present moment focus, whether that is a body scan meditation, a loving kindness meditation, gratitude churnaling, will certainly help.

And then as we learn to be more present, be more aware in these specific practices, then we can start to take them out into the world, into our busy day, into those moments when we fall into some of those mental chatter patterns, where we're resorting back to maybe telling ourselves that we are not so smart or telling ourselves that we are not so creative.

And how can we sort of flip that and come back to acceptance, self-love, and the like?

So what I'd like to do for today is I'd like to offer a brief self-love meditation, and then follow that with some self-love affirmations, affirmations, not affirmations.

This will be a short meditation.

I'll do a longer self-meditation later, and then I'm not going to get too much into what the difference between affirmations and affirmations are today.

I'll do a whole episode on that later.

Just know that affirmations tend to be a little easier for your brain to sort of go along with.

There tends to be less resistance than there are to affirmations.

So getting ready to move into this little self-love meditation, I'd invite you to think about how you could start to get comfy.

So maybe that's seated, maybe that's lying down, maybe you're walking slowly through a familiar space.

And as you start to settle in to whatever position you're taking, go ahead and notice the points of connection between your body and the surface you're resting on.

And then take a moment to notice your breath, really feel and inhale and feel and exhale.

Thank you.

And if you haven't already, perhaps allow your gaze to soften or your eyes to close.

And then I'd like you to bring to mind a time when you felt loved or appreciated.

A moment when you felt particularly proud of yourself, or maybe someone else felt proud of you.

A moment with a loved one.

And remembering that feeling of love and appreciation, either from yourself or from someone else.

Allow this feeling of loving, acceptance, and appreciation to start to fill your heart.

To start to fill your chest.

To start to fill your whole torso.

So let this feeling of love, acceptance, appreciation expand out to fill your whole body.

And imagine wrapping yourself in a big, warm, comforting embrace of self-love.

Take a moment to come back to the feeling of your breath.

Notice your inhale, notice your exhale.

And then say to yourself, what if it is safe for me to love myself?

What if it's okay for me to see the best in myself?

What if I start to look at myself through a more loving lens?

What if I start to show myself more compassion?

What if I start to treat myself with respect?

What if I am worthy of love, joy, and happiness?

Notice again the feeling of your breath.

Notice again the connection points of your body to the surface that you're resting on.

If you're seated or lying down, begin to slowly open the eyes and bring movement back into the body.

And then you could spend some time journaling here if you like, or just reflecting on any feelings, emotions, thoughts that this practice brought up for you.

And then also maybe think about how you could take a little more self-love, self-acceptance, grace, compassion, forgiveness for yourself as you move into the rest of your day..."