Curious about meditation? Tried meditation and it didn't work? This episode has something for everyone, whether or not you are neurodivergent!

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In this episode, I discuss:

• 01:14 Grounding and Check-In
• 02:34 It's ADHD Awareness Month!
• 03:24 My Personal Journey
• 06:32 Is Meditation Accessible?
• 07:47 What is ADHD? What are the Subtypes?
• 10:35 The Promises of Meditation... And the Problems!
• 11:15 Overcoming Barriers to Meditation
• 15:37 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get Started/Move Forward
• 18:50 Setting Yourself Up for Success
• 23:20 Practice: Mindful Engagement of the Senses

Resources:

• Dr Neff's ADHD Subtypes⁠
• ⁠Csikszentmihalyi's 8 Traits of Flow⁠
• ⁠Sarahlynn's Drinking Tea Meditation

Episode Show Notes:

"...Hello, my friend, and welcome. As always, thank you for spending your time with me. I got a little bit distracted at the end of September, which is right on theme with where we're headed today. I want to take a little break from movement. We will come back to it next month... unless I get distracted again. And movement does actually overlap with what I want to dive into for October.

But first, let's do a little check in.

How are you doing? How are you feeling? Maybe take a moment to wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, do a few neck rolls. Take a nice big breath in, and a slow breath out. Notice the points of connection between your body and whatever surface you are resting or walking on. Notice any parts of your body that feel especially calm, relaxed, at ease. And any areas of your body that are holding on to a little tightness or tension. And then taking a few more big breaths, maybe you could soften and release a little more fully into those areas which are holding a little discomfort in this moment.

Ah, how are you doing?

As you may know, October is ADHD Awareness Month. So that is what I would like to focus on, starting with a little bit more about my own personal journey, and then chatting just very briefly about kind of what ADHD is, how common it is, how it shows up differently for different types of people. And then some ideas around maybe why meditation, mindfulness could be a little more challenging for folks with ADHD, and then some ideas for workarounds. And then over the next two weeks, we'll take a little bit of a deeper dive and explore some of those things more fully.

My personal journeys with meditation and with neurodivergence, ADHD were really two completely and totally separate parts of my life, for most of my life, just until the last couple of years, really.

So many, many, many years ago, I was about 11 when I was diagnosed with dyslexia. And then I was, I want to say I was about 16, I might have been a little bit younger when I was diagnosed with anxiety. And now, fast forward many years later, I understand that there is a huge overlap between all of these things. I want to say about like a third of people, 30-ish percent or so, with dyslexia all also have ADHD, which is compared to I think like three to five percent of the general population. So that's a pretty ginormous difference. And then there are other things that tend to go along as well. Anxiety, trauma, PTSD, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

So looking back at my personal early history, history of diagnoses, I think that's probably why my ADHD diagnosis was missed at a young age. And then, and I'll touch a little bit more on this later, but also the subtype of ADHD that I tend most toward is also very often diagnosed later in life. Fast forward back to later on in my own life, just a few years ago, I want to say 2021. It may have been 2020. It was definitely during one of the peaks of the COVID-19 pandemic. And my anxiety was getting much, much worse, I thought, and I'm sure at least partially because of the pandemic.

And then around the same time, I started having a lot of other symptoms as well. Brain fog, increased forgetfulness. And I started with a new therapist around that time and sort of came to this joint realization although she could not technically diagnose me at that time. But just based on the tools we were using and the resources she was providing, and the books she was giving me, that I was very likely a candidate for ADHD. And the symptoms of both anxiety and ADHD are actually exacerbated by the hormonal changes that come with perimenopause. So I was probably also at the beginnings of perimenopause.

All of these things that had been going on in my life in the background for a long time, suddenly came into really sharp focus because partially they were exacerbated by the other physiological changes happening. And it explained so many things in my history, so many behaviors and struggles and things throughout my life.

And as I was moving through this personal journey, I was also still continuing my teaching of yoga, my teaching of Pilates, and diving deeper and deeper into meditation. And in my Pilates and yoga path, I have always strived to try to make those as accessible to as many types of people, as many bodies as possible. And as I continued to learn more about my own brain function and how certain types of meditation were more difficult for me, I started realizing that there's really a lot of meditation practices, teachers' content out there that really aren't accessible to a lot of people. And as I started to look into that, I found that there is a good deal of interest and some early research on the neurodivergent brain and what that looks like in a meditative context.

So I've been throwing around the term neurodivergent quite a lot. That encompasses a lot of different types of brains and thinking patterns. For me, personally, I'm coming at this from the perspective of ADHD, but many of this is going to generalize to folks who identify somewhere else in that neurodivergent spectrum.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental or brain-based difference that affects cognition, so the way we think, executive functioning, so the sort of higher reasoning functions, thought processes we think of as being more human, and then our emotional regulation. And it can show up in a few different ways. The language of which has been evolving and really continues to evolve, but sort of the most commonly accepted language that you'll hear now is three subtypes, and those are the hyperactive type, the inattentive type, and then the combined type. I will put a link in the show note to a little infographic from a doctor that I really like who explains these things I feel like in a really accessible way.

But you can kind of gather just from the names of the type a little bit more about how that might show up for someone. So the inattentive type is going to be those of us who are a little bit more distracted and forgetful. We tend to lose things. For me personally, I tend to get lost in my own thoughts. And then our comorbidities - or disorders that are going to commonly occur together - are more internalized, so things like anxiety and depression. And this is the type that's more often diagnosed later in life, and it is also more often diagnosed in women.

And then the hyperactive type are often the folks we think of as being more fidgety, impulsive. If they have a hard time waiting their turn, this tends to be more often diagnosed earlier in life, and then also more often diagnosed in men. And the disorders that most often are commonly going along with this are more externalized things. So thinking about things like oppositional defiant disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder. And then there's some overlap between the two.

And so someone who's got the combined type is going to have these things that are an overlap, and then some from each of those other two categories.

And so nearly all of us struggle with sleep. We struggle with executive functioning. We struggle with working memory.

And so you can see that with an array of symptoms like this, it's really, really going to show up in our everyday life, in our skills of daily living, in our ability just to get the things done that we need to get done to be successful in life and relationships and even survival sometimes, it feels like.

And the funny thing is that meditation, mindfulness hold the promise of helping or allaying or treating so many of these very types of things. Ability to focus, to pay attention, to improve self-control, to improve emotional regulation, to improve working memory. And they're also some of the exact same things that may prevent neurodivergent folks from actually being successful in a meditation practice.

So how do we work through some of those barriers to find practices that work for us? One of the things that I'll very commonly hear people say when they say, either I'm bad at meditating or I can't meditate, is to say, I can't sit still. So how can we push the boundary of whether or not we actually have to be sitting still to be meditating?

Another difference that we have is that our inner worlds, our inner dialogues, our creativity and thoughts tend to be much more vibrant, busy, colorful. So I'll hear people say, I can't focus, I can't turn my brain off. So how do we reframe that and recognize that having a vibrant inner world is actually a beautiful thing, and learn to acknowledge that the ongoing thought processes are just being human, and it's really just noticing that we're having those, and then coming back to whatever we're focusing on in the moment, that is the process of meditation.

Related to that, the focus doesn't always have to be things we hear so commonly mentioned like breath or body, and we'll revisit that in another episode.

And we also tend to like to do things when there's a little more novelty and there's a little more dopamine. So as things become a little more routine and regular, we might get a little bit bored. Might be a little bit harder to stick with the practice. So how can we learn to stay consistent with having a meditation practice overall, then mixing it up so that we're keeping things interesting?

We have shorter attention spans. We tend to have less stick-to-it-iveness. So it may be harder to stick with the practice long enough to start to see the benefit. So how can we set ourselves up for success so that we can get to that point?

And then many of us also experience time blindness. This was one of my huge aha moments. Looking back, so much of my life made sense. Many of us have a really hard time looking back and either telling how much time has lapsed since something happened or how long a task took or looking forward predicting how long something will take. So if I'm sitting either doing a meditation that's not really right for me or sitting in a position that's not really right for me, I might not know if it's three minutes or three hours that has gone by and that might create some resistance for me as well.

And meditation does have the potential to exacerbate negative symptoms as well. So learning to identify when are the times when we're likely to be most successful and to also check in with ourselves and see how we're feeling, knowing that if we're already emotionally dysregulated, that intense focusing on the current moment might make some of that even a little more intense.So planning around things like that, checking in and having flexibility to come back and revisit if the moment isn't right.

And some of us also experience something called pathological demand avoidance. This was another big aha moment for me. This is just the idea that we are less likely to be interested in doing something if someone tells us to, or if everyone else is doing it. So if you're already here because you're interested and you think this might work for you, and you kind of made that decision on your own, this might not apply to you. But if you're trying to meditate because your doctor or your therapist or your mom or your dad, I don't know, said that you should do this because it's going to make you better, then that might also make you have a little bit of that like, well, then I don't really want to do it. So tuning into that as well.

But if you are here because you've already decided that this is something that you want to try and you want to try to make it work for you. Or if this is something that you have been doing for a little while, but you've kind of found some like, stab and see and maybe need to mix it up a little bit. Or maybe you've tried some things and you have not been able to find anything that works.

I want to offer a few prompts or questions to start to investigate and learn some more about where you're coming from and how you might move forward. So as I offer these questions, what I would invite you to do either right now or come back to this section later would be to actually pause after each question or invitation or prompt and spend a little time writing.

The first thought for you is why are you doing this? Why do you want to learn more about meditation? Why do you want to meditate more? If you are in the neurodivergent community and things aren't working for you, why do you want to try to continue? What is it that makes you think that there is potential value or growth? So if you'd like, go ahead and pause. Why are you doing this?

Second question is what has worked? If you are someone who has already done a little bit of experimenting, dabbling, you've been meditating for a while. What do you like? What has ease? So maybe pause and write for a moment. What has worked?

And then related to that, next question, what do you know does not work? What has created resistance? What felt like failure? What could you not stick with? If you'd like, take a moment, pause. What has not worked?

And then my last question for you would be, what activities do you do where you can already get yourself into a flow state? Flow state is simply becoming so absorbed in a task that everything else falls away. So you don't have to think about mindfulness or think about staying focused or present, because whatever you're doing has so captured your attention that nothing else matters. So for some people, it might be something like gardening, playing a musical instrument, dancing. It could be absolutely anything. There's no right or wrong here.

And I'll actually, I'll put a little link in the show notes to a little bit more of a reference around flow states. That's some very interesting work.

So if you'd like, go ahead, pause, take a moment, write. Brainstorm, reflect. What activities get you into flow?

And now I would just like to offer a few more thoughts about setting yourself up for success as you move forward. So the first invitation I would make, and this generalizes to so many aspects of our lives, is let go of perfection. So sometimes I like to say practice makes progress. I have heard practice makes permanent, but practice definitely does not make perfection. And that's okay, because this is a process. It is learning, it is growing, it is practicing. So have that grace and compassion with yourself as you move forward. And keep your expectations reasonable. You're not going to do this every day. You're certainly not going to do it for an hour a day. Not at the beginning. I mean, maybe if you get to that point, good on you. I'm not there yet.

But just keep those expectations realistic. Have that grace, have that compassion.

And then think about maybe trying to choose a time of day when you know there will be less barriers, less resistance. So for me, that's a first thing in the morning. Once we're getting past like 1, 2 p.m., I'm pretty checked out. I'm going to be pretty distracted. So are there times of the day when you know you're already feeling a little more relaxed or calm or centered, or it's easier for you to focus? Or a time when you know your inertia is a little higher, so it will be easier for you to start and stay engaged in a task?

Or you could try habit stacking. So if there is a part of your day where there is something that is already an ingrained part of your daily routine, maybe you bring meditation into that part of your day. And a great example of this is drinking tea meditation. It doesn't have to be tea, it can be your breakfast, it can be your coffee. And actually as an example of what this can look like, I will post a link to a drinking tea meditation that I recorded quite a while ago, so I don't remember how good the quality is, but that's fine. So just using that moment of mindful awareness of whatever you're consuming in the morning and making that your meditation.

I also like the idea of preparing a sacred space. And I know that can be a difficult phrase for some people. It can hold a little bit of baggage, but all I am suggesting by the idea of sacred space is that you are creating an outward environment that will make the internal environment easier. So for me, if I am in clutter, everything inside is going to feel more cluttered, so it's just an extra level of distraction. So if you fall into that category like me, just having a clean, quiet, designated space to do your practice.

And then, like I mentioned previously, consider mixing it up to keep it consistent. It seems counterintuitive, but for our brains, maybe not, mixing it up to keep it consistent. So oftentimes, once that novelty wears off, it's so much harder for us to stick to it. So maybe there is the same time of day or a very similar time of day that you know is going to work well for you, but one day you do a walking meditation, and the next day you do a guided meditation, and the next day you do some gentle yoga, keeping it interesting and engaging for yourself.

So over the next couple of weeks, I want to take a little bit of a deeper dive into some of these ideas. So next week, we'll dive back into the idea of a focal point and expanding what that could look like beyond body and breath. And then I want to get back into the idea of moving, and what types of moving meditation might work better for folks in the neurodivergent community and why. And then we'll wrap up the month by talking a little bit about guided meditation and similarly why that might work better for certain types of brains.

And as always today, I would like to end with a little practice, a simple mindful awareness, engaging your senses.

So wherever you are, take a moment to get comfy, settle into your seat, or if you're reclined, making sure you're cozy.

If you're moving, you are walking slowly through a familiar area in supportive footwear.

And then begin to scan your surroundings.

If you're walking, maybe notice the ground in front of you, the scenery beside you.

If you're in a room, scanning the floor, walls, or ceiling.

If you're walking, come to stillness for a moment.

And wherever you are, allow your eyes to settle on one spot, one item, one thing within your field of vision.

A crack in the wall, a leaf on the ground, an item sitting on a counter.

It does not matter what it is.

Allow your eyes to settle on this one thing, and then really, really look at it.

Notice all its details, colors, textures.

And for a moment, allow your eyes to stay here, stay engaged.

Notice when they pull away, and bring your gaze back to this one spot.

And allow your eyes to begin to scan your surroundings again.

Fear walking, maybe you begin to gently move forward again.

And then notice one thing you can hear.

Maybe a human-made sound, a nature sound, near or far, consistent or intermittent.

Again, does not matter what it is.

Allow yourself to focus in on one sound, and for a moment, allow your total awareness to stay here.

Notice when you become distracted, and bring yourself back.

Gently expand your hearing back out to include my voice and all the sounds around you.

Notice if there's anything you can smell, anything you can smell in this moment, focusing in on just that smell.

If not, maybe focus on the air, gently entering your nose and then leaving your body.

Allow your awareness to stay with this smell or sensation for a moment.

Notice when it wants to pull away and bring yourself back.

Allow your awareness to broaden outward again.

Become aware of something you can feel.

Maybe it's the connection of your feet to the earth with each step, step, step.

Maybe you find stillness and pick up a rock or a stick, or if you're indoors, maybe it's the feeling of your body resting on your surface, or bring a palm to rest on the texture of the fabric of your clothing.

Really allow your sense of touch to investigate this sensation.

Notice, take it all in and keep your awareness here anchored to this sense of touch.

Notice when it wanders, invite it back.

Gently expand awareness outward.

Scan your surroundings, reorient yourself to your space.

You're seated or lying down, gently move your body.

Wherever you're at, take a big breath in and a slow breath out.

How are you doing?

How are you feeling?

If you're choosing to spend a moment in reflection or do some journaling today, and you do identify as somewhere in that big, beautiful, diverse community of neurodivergence, maybe particularly spend some time thinking about anything that you did not like, or did not work, or created resistance, or anything that did work really well, or was easy, or felt good.

And for all of you, wherever you fall on our giant, beautiful human spectrum, please reach out to me if you have any questions, or just to share with me how your journey is going..."